Bishops Stortford v Ebbsfleet Utd

The Prokit (UK) Stadium

National League South

February 6, 2016

Ground No 185

 

IT'S easy to be spoilt when things are going swimmingly well isn't it?

 

Take the Ebbsfleet fan who walked past me with 15 or so minutes of his side's match at the Prokit (UK) Stadium to go.

 

The Fleet are flying high at the top of National League South - eight points clear before kick-off and were 2-1 up away from home going into the closing stages of a match they did eventually close out to stretch their advantage to 11 points.

 

But, with the home side not unexpectedly applying a reasonable amount of pressure, Angry of Kent wasn't impressed. A brief look up as he passed some fellow Fleet fans revealed a stern face as he turned to them, muttered "What a nightmare" then continued on his way.

 

Clearly he didn't come close to the enthusiasm shown by the Pretend Commentator at Southend Manor a week earlier but at least he had a nightmare 2-1 win to celebrate along with the large contingent of travelling supporters.

 

What Mr Downbeat wouldn't have cause to complain about is how to find the ground.  Despite Stansted being known as The Airportmen, Bishops Stortford's home is actually closer to Stansted Airport. Just the other side of the M11 services the floodlights and main stand peak over the light industrial units and a nice, big sign points the way to the entrance and sizeable car park.

 

The stadium is neat and tidy with room for 4,525 fans and has been home to the club since opening in 1999 - in time to earn it the honour of staging the last league game in England of the 20th century.

 

Entrance is either side of the brick-built, 300-seat cantilever main stand which sits in front of the bar (big stage and dancefloor but no real ales on handpump although the keg Old Speckled Hen wasn't too shabby) and function room.

 

Also on that side is the food bar which served a very tasty bacon cheeseburger and had my mate rubbing his hands with delight at offering Bovril for only a quid.

 

Covered terracing is situated behind each goal while a small seated stand, video gantry perched atop, straddles the halfway line opposite.

 

It's new, it's functional rather than quirky and it's unspectacular. But the Prokit (UK) Stadium has plenty of room and with more than 500 enthusiastic fans inside, produced an entertaining match on a surface probably described somewhere as "difficult" and a vibrant matchday atmosphere. What a nightmare, eh?

 

 

Southend Manor v Tower Hamlets

The Arena Stadium, Southchurch Park

Essex Senior League

January 30, 2016

Ground No 184

 

 

THE superlatives flowed, the words echoed loudly around Southend Manor's small stepped standing area and the passion for the game unfolding in front of him burst forth with vigour.

 

The voice behind the microphone was filled with enthusiasm, excitement and zest. Well it would have been had there actually been a microphone.

 

It turns out this was my first encounter with Neil Collins AKA The Pretend Commentator.

 

Being a Johnny Come Lately to the South-East non-league scene, I hadn't come across Neil before or even heard of him.

 

But it transpires he's a well-known figure in Essex and East London, attending games with his headphones, stopwatch at notebook, spending all 90 minutes describing the action in his own infectious and attentive style, adding a fair sprinkling of facts, figures and observations too.

 

And let's not forget the quirky quips - "This is football not ice hockey," after the third goal went in; "It looks as though the sun will be orange and not yellow tonight," as Tower Hamlets (in orange) powered to a 3-1 win over Southend Manor (in yellow). I've heard worse from real commentators.

 

Videos of him have gone viral and he's been featured both in the local press and The Sun Online. Non-league football is rarely short of characters and Neil surely has to be one of the biggest. This was an entertaining match with four goals, but you get the impression he'd have been no less enthusiastic had it ended goalless.

 

By all accounts he's been giving running updates at matches for a number of years now so I daresay our paths will cross again.

 

The ground sits within Southchurch Park, the cricket pitch and pavilion to one side and a kids' playground behind one goal, and the entrance brings you in behind one of the two small stands.

 

To the right as you walk in is the bar/clubhouse which, as I discovered is far more cosy and welcoming I side than it looks from the outside.

 

The main stand is a simple, modern 160-seat metal and plastic structure, with the player's entrance emerging from its halfway point. Next to that is a small covered, similarly simple metal stepped standing area from where, along with the man with the invisible mic and a handful of fans, I watched the action.

 

That's it as far as the ground goes. Like many Essex Senior League grounds there's not a whole lot to it and, you have to say, The Arena gives a rather overstated impression of what's within the perimeter walls.

 

Not that I'm complaining - I had a friendly welcome at the entrance, the obligatory half-time cuppa hit the spot and it was a lively, entertaining game... with free commentary thrown in.

Harrow Borough v Billericay Town

Earlsmead Stadium

Ryman League Premier Division

Saturday, February 23, 2016

Ground No 183

 

WORLD renowned seat of learning for posh boys, Harrow School, was one of seven schools which met in 1963 to establish the Cambridge Rules, which in turn formed the basis of the Football Association's first ever rulebook.

 

Despite this, the Crispins, Tobys and Tarquins also play their own version of the game, known as footer, in which the future Tory politicians and entrepreneurial reality dodgers can handle the ball in certain situations, aren't permitted to play the ball if they're in front of it and must score by shooting between a pair of ticks.

 

The lack of straw boaters and the more down to earth demeanour of the crowd today suggested the posh lads were too busy with their own version of the beautiful game to come and support their local team, based just 2.3 miles away from the establishment where Winston Churchill, Robert Peel and Benedict Cumberbatch all learned Pythagoras's theorem and how to converse in Latin.

Had they joined us, they wouldn't have had any trouble finding anywhere to sit or stand - the Earlsmead Stadium, capacity 3,070, is the sort of ground that deserves higher attendances and the 161 of us present were rattling around a bit in there to be honest.

Home to the club since 1934, it sits in the middle of a well-populated Metroland residential development, the floodlights poking their heads above the rooftops as you stroll along Carlyon Avenue from the conveniently situated Northolt Park railway station.

While the station is handily placed, the ground doesn't have any nearby pubs for a pre-match pint, apparently. Being a diligent groundhopper I contacted the club for recommendations, only to discover the three nearby boozers have all closed down.

Still, lunch and a couple of pints of Greene King St Edmunds in the Victoria and Albert at Marylebone Station went down a treat and there are not one but two bars in the two-storey structure at the ground.

With the trains from Marylebone running only once an hour, we had ample time to pop into one of them for a pint of Young's (nice but a tad too cold, I felt) and catch the end of a pretty amazing Norwich v Liverpool game on the telly.

Entrance points to the ground are at either side of a shallow concrete terrace behind one of the goals. Immediately to the right are the loos and a tea bar (if only I'd noticed they sold slices of bread pudding before I'd bought a Double Decker) and beyond that a long covered standing area acts as a backdrop to the dug-outs.

The opposite end is also made up of shallow terracing, with an overflow car parking area behind.

To the left is a 1970s main stand with 350 seats, flanked by covered standing areas, the first of them made out of an old air raid shelter by all accounts.

My journey today took me directly past both the Olympic Stadium and Wembley Stadium but my more modest surroundings provided me with an entertaining game - a come-from-behind 2-1 win for the hosts against a side who hadn't lost since October - and a thoroughly enjoyable day out. And not a straw boater in sight.
 

Concord Rangers v Ebbsfleet Utd

Aspect Arena

National League South

January 2, 2016

Ground No 159 revisited

 

WHEN I was a kid my dad reckoned it always rained in Kent, something I've regularly taunted my mates from south of the river with - paying scant regard to any kind of factual evidence of  course.

 

Typical, then, that the heavens should open as I made my way to the Aspect Arena along with said pals from the Garden Of  England who had crossed the Thames to follow the high-flying Fleet, thus pooh-poohing my flimsy and scurrilous argument that we're all wearing Speedos and flip-flops in Essex while they're putting up their brollies in Kent.

 

In any case it would take more than a few splashes of wet stuff to put me off a trip to the Aspect Arena. It's a great ground - in fact it was my first visit here that convinced me to launch this blog.

 

Concord Rangers - who take their name from Concord Beach, next to which they kicked their first ball - are Johnny Come Latelys to senior football, having only entered the Essex Senior League as recently as 1991 and are currently playing at the highest level they've ever reached and a step above their near neighbours Canvey Island.

 

By all accounts you'd be lucky to find more than 40 people inside on a matchday 20 or so years ago so it's been a supersonic take-off by Concord, you might say. The Beach Boys really have hit the right note since then.

 

As a result the Aspect Arena isn't as imposing as other grounds in the same league  but it's welcoming, easy on the eye and easily good enough for Concord's needs.

 

With a large contingent making their way from the other side of the Queen Elizabeth II Bridge, Thames Road - the cul-de-sac towards the end of which the ground, opened in 1985, is situated - was more than a little congested. And since the footpath abruptly ends once you reach the last house, the remainder of the on-foot fan's journey to the turnstiles quickly became a game of dodge the car.

 

Fortunately we arrived safely and headed through the entrance into a hive of feverish pre-match activity as fans grabbed a cuppa from the tea hut, a burger from the food van or a pint from the spacious and modern clubhouse. The function suite remained empty though - no matchday wedding party like the one at Sutton Common Rovers today.

 

Looking straight ahead from the tea bar to the right of the turnstiles is the main stand, a low but long structure only four rows of seats deep, flanked by small, demountable steel and plastic stands, the like of which I'd seen recently at Hullbridge.

 

Behind the goal is hard standing with a covered area behind the goal while on the far side are two more of those small stands with a big video gantry in between and Thorney Bay Caravan Park on the other side of the perimeter wall.

 

Behind the other goal is a large covered area. You're right up close to the pitch even when you're under cover here.

 

And when it's packed out, as it was today, the floodlights are on and the players are scrambling in the goalmouth looking for a breakthrough, it's an intoxicating place to be.